Am I the asshole for telling neighbor I won't pay to move my well so she can replace her septic tank?

My neighbor approached my husband a few weeks ago that they needed to replace their landfill and they have discovered that our "unpermitted" well is too close for them to replace it...has to be over 50 feet within a well. She mentioned that we may have to move it so they could replace their septic tank. She mentioned the permit issue several times. We bought the house 8 years ago with well on land. Neither of us appreciated the passive aggressive tone of the permit issue.
Little background on neighbors. We've had issues over the years. Several times she has had to knock on our door because our large Mexican family has parties and on at least 3 occasions in 8 years we have blocked their driveway and wife wasn't happy. Our bad. In the last 3 years they have extensively landscaped their yard and have encroached onto our property. LSS, once I produced our survey, they thought they had about 6 more feet of property to the east of our property. They actually cut down one of our small oak trees because they thought it was on their property. But my husband didn't make an issue out of it because you know, neighbors. We live on a nice street with 26 house, everybody tries to get along. Here's where we need outside opinion. We investigated and found that they can apply for a variance, sort of grandfather clause since it is an existing septic tank and existing well. Neighbors wife comes to our door to let us know that yes, she can apply for a variance but it's $1500 and only about 80% of them approved so is there anyway we can move our "unpermitted" well. BTW, it's approx $3000 to $4000 for a well removal. I told her flat out, this is not our problem. We are not paying any $ out of pocket so they can replace their septic tank. She mentioned again that it was unpermitted so the county may make us move it. My husband said we had asked about it and were told it shouldn't be a problem for us because we bought it that way. She said that it would because now the county knows it's not permitted. We said we weren't worried. I said again, this is your problem. Husband said we would move well if they paid for it. She said she didn't think she should have to pay to move an unpermitted well and if we weren't willing to move it so they could replace their septic tank, they may have to take legal action. We told her to do what she had to do. BTW, her whole premise of non permit is void. I'm not sure why she couldn't find it online, but the prior owner of home had copy of permit from 4 years prior to us purchasing home.
So, are we the asshole for telling neighbor it is not our problem that our well is too close to their septic tank and refusing to pay for cost of moving it?

Submitted July 19, 2022 at 07:14AM by ThunderDeserve9096 https://ift.tt/vlbmnUq